As I approach my 30s, marvelling at “the young kids” on TikTok and on the streets of Berlin as they live through their many “first times,” part of me feels nostalgic, and the other feels relieved. I no longer have to prove myself. And I feel more lost than ever.

Is this the famous midlife crisis, just a bit early?

Jason Dorsey, generational researcher, says yes: “Middle age to those previous generations was a very literal term—the middle of your life. Millennials are not feeling half their life is over; they just don’t feel as young as they used to. They no longer view themselves as the young, hip, trendsetting generation. They’re not young and hip; they’re in middle management.”

Yes, I’m in middle management—not a wise retiree, not in the C-suite, and not a rebellious newbie, either. Unfortunately the first association with middle management is mediocracy, and worse: Type “Are middle managers” into a Google search and the questions that pop up are “obsolete?” “useless?” “so bad?” And yet as work and organizations become more fluid, one could argue that middle management is very necessary. Zahira Jaser, assistant professor at the University of Sussex Business School, proclaims the real value of middle managers lies in the role of building crucial relationships:

“In my 20 years of being one and then researching them, however, I have developed great respect for middle managers. They are the engine of the business, the cogs that make things work, the glue that keeps companies together. Especially as remote and hybrid work takes over—and the distance between employees increases—middle managers are more important than ever. The most effective ones are in possession of humane, sophisticated communications skills and the knack to mediate and find common grounds between actors at different levels in the organization.”

The world could use more middle managers.

It’s a stage many of us know too well from our relationships, whether romantic or business-related—or, in my case, both. When I tell people how I first came to the House at the initial Lisbon gathering in 2017, feeling like I had won the lottery, then entering a freelance relationship before saying yes, wholeheartedly, one year later, I realize how the House and I, and we as an organization, have matured. What began as an idea is growing into what we’ve wanted it to be: a manifestation of beautiful business. We’re right there too, in the messy middle, figuring out structures and processes that are meaningful, not stifling; creating an ever-open space for dreaming—with some discipline; staying rooted as we struggle to evolve.

Managing the middle, through the middle, is where love is made concrete. It’s where things get more frustrating and complicated, where you have to work harder to honor your commitments, and face tough decisions and conflicts that have been there all along.

And equally, it’s where new curiosity, collaborations, and contracts are waiting to be birthed. A departure and a homecoming together—which is also, not coincidentally, how we plan to gather this fall, too.

Monika Jiang is the head of curation and community of the House of Beautiful Business, a global community for making humans more human and business more beautiful.

This article is an excerpt from the House’s weekly Beauty Shot newsletter. Sign up here to read the full issue on “The Messy Middle” and receive future issues.

The House will host its signature gathering, this year with the theme Concrete Love, from Friday, October 29 to Sunday, October 31, 2021, in Lisbon and online, and from November 1 to November 26, 2021, online.